I knew a guy that would say, “You never know where your blessings are going to come from. Some people might find the use of this phrase objectionable or offensive, I for one think it’s spot on for what I am about to tell you.
My sister Lisa's friend's boyfriend's brother, Tommy, showed up for my carefully planned beach trip, invited by the boyfriend who did not think I needed to know. The car we planned to take wouldn't hold all of us and our stuff so instead of being a bitch (which was plan A) and telling him to take a hike we drove two cars. The boyfriend paid for gas as his punishment.
My sister and her friend wouldn't ride separately, and the boyfriend had to ride with them so that left me with a perfect stranger wearing an ugly ball cap climbed into the car with me. He was stoked, because I had the coolest car he’s ever seen and he’s seen a lot of cars, apparently. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the 3 beers he'd consumed while we rearranged the cars.
We were driving for maybe an hour and Tommy told me all about his fitness regimen (involves staring at girls in yoga pants at the gym and occasionally lifting some free weights) or his mint condition (except for some rust) 1984 Ford something or other and the time he almost got backstage at a Coldplay concert, before he had to piss ("like a racehorse," naturally.)
I pulled into the first gas station I saw and sat in the car, enjoying the respite from the stream of slightly-drunken consciousness that I'd been subjected to for the last 75-odd miles. When Tommy climbed back in, he flashed his guns at me and stuck out his tongue.
